Many Singaporeans regard death as a taboo subject. Even the thought of it is considered unpleasant to many people, as it only reminds us of the fragility of life. And yet, there is great reverence and care paid to the various funeral etiquettes and customs in Singapore, with every culture having its own rituals to honour the deceased. Why is this so?
The significance of holding a funeral service in Singapore
Source: Bestinsingapore
Despite Singaporeans’ consternation about death, many understand the importance of having an opportunity to say their final goodbyes. Arranging a funeral in Singapore is not only for the deceased but also for everyone connected to them. From the perspective of the living, a funeral service is a chance to acknowledge what the departed meant to them. In some ways, it also provides solace to the bereaved family when they know their loved one is respectfully laid to rest.
The funeral also offers friends and relatives a place to gather and reminisce about the many happy memories they shared with the departed. More importantly, it provides the bereaved family with a proper channel to grieve their loss and allows others to offer their support during this tumultuous period. This lays the foundations for healthy grieving, which is vital in helping someone come to terms with their loved one’s death.
To achieve healthy grieving, it is essential that the bereaved family’s reconciliation needs are met. If the funeral can meet these purposes, it can help mourners work through their grief and move on from their loved one’s passing. Let us share what these reconciliation needs are so that you can have a clearer understanding of how a funeral service can help the bereaved in their grief journey.
Need #1: Acknowledge the reality of the death
There is a reason why denial is the first of the five stages of grief. Often, when we are confronted with the devastating news that a loved one has passed away, it feels easier to deny the truth than admit the person we loved is gone. However, such actions are far from ideal and unrecommended by mental health experts.
Instead, the bereaved family should be encouraged to openly acknowledge the reality and finality of death, even though it is challenging, to move forward with their grief. Holding a funeral, whilst a sad occasion, helps mourners come to grips with their loved ones’ passing. Subsequently, they learn to move on to a new beginning – one without their loved one’s presence.
Need #2: Express grief for the departed
Humans are wired to feel. When we experience a loss in the family, it is normal for us to experience a rush of emotions. A funeral offers a safe space for us to openly express these feelings rather than bottling our emotions up and letting them fester, thus allowing us to take our first steps toward healing.
Moreover, planning a funeral according to a loved one’s final wishes can be a cathartic experience. If the departed has engaged the assistance of a funeral pre-planning service beforehand, you may find that most aspects have been settled, allowing you to focus on grieving.
Conversely, if you have to decide on the arrangements, you can seek the help of a funeral director to prevent yourself from being overwhelmed. Regardless of your choice, knowing that you have arranged everything according to your loved one’s wishes can be a comforting thought as you grieve their passing.
Need #3: Remember the departed
Sometimes, we have to go backwards before we can move forward with our lives. Memorialising the departed allows us to recognise and honour our loved ones and their impact on our lives. A funeral encourages us to begin this process, with friends and relatives gathering to share their treasured memories of the deceased through a eulogy or a tribute video.
Although it may be challenging, the recollection of our loved ones allows us to seek solace in our new lives. Hearing the treasured memories that others have about the deceased also allows the bereaved family to learn more about their loved one’s life apart from the interactions they have with the departed.
Need #4: Receive support from others
Support from friends and family is crucial in helping one reconcile their grief. A funeral provides mourners with the opportunity to come together and grieve in solidarity or provide a listening ear and a caring hug to those seeking comfort. Without a service, others may assume the bereaved family wishes to grieve privately, but in actuality, this is a moment where they require emotional support the most.
Need #5: Accept a new identity in life
Humans are social creatures; our lives are given meaning in relation to those around us. Each relationship gives us an identity – father, mother, sister, brother etc. When we lose a specific connection, it can cause us to question our sense of identity. This is why some feel like a part of themselves is lost with the passing of their loved ones.
However, whether we want to or not, we need to accept the end of that relationship. A funeral provides us with an opportunity to come to grips with this fact, allowing us to forge a new identity and move forward with our lives.
Need #6: Find meaning in life
When we are confronted with a loss, we often find ourselves pondering the purpose and meaning of life. While there are no straightforward answers to such questions, funerals – which embody our thoughts and belief about life and death as individuals and a community – present an opportunity for us to confront the fragility of life and figure out how we want to spend our lives meaningfully.
A funeral service can be a rite of passage and a cathartic experience, allowing the bereaved family to come to terms with their loss and begin the healing process. However, the funeral arrangements need not be elaborate. The most important thing is to allow the bereaved family to grieve properly by honouring and remembering the departed’s life in the best way possible. If you need advice on planning a funeral, you can check out our guide to arranging a funeral service in Singapore.
Additionally, we recommend enlisting the help of a funeral service provider in Singapore. The funeral director can assist you with the logistics and planning of the service, easing your burden and allowing you to mourn the loss of a loved one properly. Do not hesitate to contact Confidence Funeral Services today to learn how we can help you.